Way back in the day, prior to the existence of AlmeidaIsGod[dot]com (the website), Matt and Kasia invented the concept of “Almeidaism”, a pseudo-religion meant to guide the mindset and behaviours of serious and dedicated Tony Almeida fans, which was a parody of the 10 Holy Commandments. This was the humble beginnings of what eventually evolved to become the website you see before you. I have revised them somewhat to incorporate Tony’s evolution as a character since the site started, as well as reflect the current tone and belief system of our website. If you feel the need to write to me expressing outrage at the blasphemy and sacrelige I am demonstrating by parodying the Holy Commandments, save your breath. I’m already an agnostic, so threatening me with the fiery depths of Hell will be an exercise in futility. On that note and without further ado, I offer you the Principles of Almeidaism.
- You shall have no other deities or rulers in the 24 Universe before Almeida.
- You shall respect the awesome likeness of Almeida, and make for yourself only those images (in the form of fan art such as desktop wallpapers, icons, avatars and fan sites) which uphold the intrinsic values, ideals, experience and aesthetic of the amazing creation that is Tony Almeida.
- You shall not mispronounce, misuse or otherwise defile the holy name of Almeida.
- Respect and honour the official viewing day (dubbed Holy Day) by keeping it free of scheduling conflicts. Avoid making appointments, meetings or shifts at work during the Holy Hour. Turn off your phone if possible. If it is not feasible to avoid conflicts on the Holy Day during the Holy Hour, do everything you can to record or download the material for the purposes of delayed worship. Failing to worship will result in the Wrath of Almeida! However, if The Ghost of Victor Drazen interferes with your worship plans, it is acceptable to request assistance from like-minded Almeidaists.
- Honour your mother and/or father and/or other respected family members by imparting your views on the awesome power of Almeida at every available opportunity.
- You shall not, under any circumstances, wish for the death or destruction of Almeida. If such a heinous event should occur (again), you must express your outrage and displeasure through all ways and means available to you (again).
- You shall not worship, idolize, love or respect any other 24 character to the degree and intensity you do Almeida (even Chappelle). Furthermore, you shall not betray the Holy Hour by watching any other program at the same time. If you feel you must enjoy another program which airs at the same time as the Holy Hour, the Holy Hour must take precedence and the other program must be recorded/downloaded and enjoyed at a later time.
- You shall not steal, plagiarize or adopt for yourself the holy words and actions of Tony Almeida without due credit to the source, thereby spreading the Holy Word of Almeida. Furthermore, you shall not replicate the quotes/dialogue transcripts, screencaps or other materials of this canon to Almeida without due credit to this site.
- You shall not bear false witness against Almeida by willfully misinterpreting his character arc and motives, knowingly reporting false information about his storylines or repeating uncorroborated spoilers from unreliable sources.
- You shall not covet Almeida’s signature soulpatch; you shall not covet Almeida’s fashionable clothes, particularly his badass black leather jacket; you shall not covet Almeida’s vintage way of saying “Yeah”, “Alright” and “Okay”. These things are sacred to Almeida and Almeida alone.
